I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He felt like a one man threesome
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
