Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
