she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
