For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
