when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Randomize
