so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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