I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
