I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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