ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
