Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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