The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
