ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
