Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
