So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize