I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize