If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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