we should wear snuggies to the strip club
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
