her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
