What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
it was like eating out sand paper
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
