On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize