we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
