He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
