I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
