I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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