Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Do vagina's smell?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
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