covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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