That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
