Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Randomize