i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Everyone says I win the strip club
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
