you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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