I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
