He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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