If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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