I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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