The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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