I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
