I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
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