ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
