No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
