he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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