I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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