Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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