She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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