Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
