I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
