DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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