so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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