will power is for people who don't want to get laid
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
