the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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