I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
