Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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