Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
