Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
