Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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