You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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