I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
