Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
