I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
