it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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