the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
