Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
he quoted the bible to break up with me
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
