as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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