I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
