This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
